BOOMERANG KIDS

I had no idea there was a name for adult children who move home but apparently there is. Adult children moving home are called "Boomerang Kids."

It's interesting to note that under 8 percent of adult children ages 25 to 34 lived with parents in 1970. Today that percentage is roughly 12%. The culprit? The declining economy. Couple the economy with student loans and high credit card debt, marriage and children and you've got your "Boomerang Kid."

I, myself have a "Boomeranger" and living in a state with a 12.6% unemployment rate, I may have him for quite some time. Looking and/or moving out of state for employment is not an option for my "Boomeranger" as his child is here. What to do, what to do??

I am fortunate that our family dynamic is such that we all - I still have 2 teens at home - get along quite well for the most part. We have our squabbles from time to time, who doesn't?

The whole experience has been and continues to be an enlightening one for me. For example, I never thought of myself as being a strict parent or a dictator when it came to manners but I've learned from watching my son with his son and I often find myself laughing at my son for being so anal about "time outs" for inappropriate behavior and manners. I told my son that he really needed to lighten up, it really is not a big deal if his son throws his food to the floor for the dog or if his son decides that the bathtub is his very own pirate ship and he splashes water all over the bathroom floor. "It can be mopped up," I say, "he's having fun." My son in turn tells me, "Mom this is the same way you raised us. We never got away with this." Really? I had to ponder that for a time. I was a single Mom and my memories are of all the fun we had. Was I really that anal with my own children? I had to call my daughter who has a 2 yr. old son (step) herself. Was she too a stickler for manners and appropriate behavior?? The answer was yes and yes! I was anal and I have passed this on to my children! I'm not altogether sure how I feel about this. It was a completely different set of circumstances for me. At the time I remember thinking, my children and I will not be the stereotypical single Mom family. My children will not be a statistic. They will be honor students - and they were. They will have manners at home and in public - and they did. They will have respect for self and others - and they did. They will have fresh haircuts, beautiful teeth, new clothes (not brand name but brand new), they will be sparkling clean.. And they were. They will exceed all expectations, including the ones I had set forth. - And they have. They will know above all else, that their Mom loves them unconditionally and forever and always will... And they do.

Please know, there was a method to my madness.

When I was a single Mom I didn't have the support from my parents. In fact my Mother told me, and I quote, "I raised my 7 now you raise yours." End quote. In my mind, at the time, I thought I had to be thorough and consistent with the upbringing of my children, love and discipline in equal measure.. Not necessarily anal, that wasn't my goal. I was all they had and they were all I had. I could not fail them. I would not fail them. I would not fail. I was one tough cookie to be sure. I ruled with an iron fist in a velvet glove but again, I felt I had to. There was one of me and four of them and a whole wide world out there waiting and anticipating our failure. Tempting my children to stray. It wasn't going to happen. Not on my watch. And it didn't...

Now about that "Boomerang Kid" of mine... I suppose it's time to have an adult conversation with my adult child(ren)... Time to dissolve the "anal gene" chain of self abuse..

Any suggestions????